In Sickness and in Health

I've got a question - how do you push yourself to exercise when you're sick? Or do you? Should you?

I've heard arguments for both sides. I've read that your body needs a break when it's sick so it can focus on healing. And I've heard the arguments for staying in the groove and not letting yourself get out of the habit. I guess it depends on how sick is sick, right? A headache means keep on running. The flu, OMG please stay in bed. But what about things like miserable allergies or a cold, or something that isn't totally debilitating but still feels miserable? Do you exercise then? The Mayo Clinic says it depends on the symptoms. If they are located above the neck, then go workout. If they are below the neck, then take a break. Prevention agrees - a stuffy nose and itchy eyes or sniffles aren't enough to cancel the workout. But a chest cold or body aches? Skip it. I like their reminder for people who exercise at gyms, too! If you're contagious, don't do it.

This begs the question - who wants to exercise when they are sick? Its been my experience that when I'm sick, I feel crappy and don't want to do anything except whine and moan and be miserable *g*. But the reality is, exercise taps into those feel-good endorphins and can kick that whining and moaning to the curb, giving a burst of energy, too.

And what about eating? For me, at least, comfort food is necessary for the healing process -and comfort food never seems to be found on my healthy menu, ya know? Now, granted, the last thing I ever want to do when I'm sick is cook. But I'm more than willing to hand someone a recipe and look pathetic, hoping they'll make it for me *g* A quick google search found a bunch of healthy recipe makeovers, so I'm thinking eating healthy while sick is definitely doable. The trick is non-recipe comfort foods - and I can't think of any *g* How about you?

Do you exercise when you're sick? Or skip it? And what about comfort food? What's your favorite comfort food and how healthy is it?


Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Oh, Really?

I read an article the other day in which a doctor stated that during menopause, women would (not might, not could - WOULD) gain 10-20 lbs.

Like it was some kind of guarantee.

It blew my mind. Not only because that kind of absolute statement seems incorrect, but because it's both emotionally dispiriting and physically discouraging. And, of course, it's not true. At least, not that I've seen since both my grandmother, my mother and my stepmother have all gone through menopause without gaining weight. Since all three are from different gene pools (my grandmother is my father's mom), I have to say it's pretty solid proof that the weight gain isn't a given.

Call me Pollyanna (okay, don't) but I've always believed that as long as you put your mind to something and worked hard, you'd see results (perhaps not the exact results you were aiming for, but still...) Its so negative to read or hear something like this. To me, its tantamount to saying "you have no choice, go ahead and give up".

Its along the same lines as someone stating that you're eating for two now, and you'll gain 50-60 lbs when you're pregnant. Yes, you'll gain weight. Yes, you need to eat to nourish the baby. But an absolute 'you'll gain this much weight no matter what', again, makes me feel defeated before I even get a fork in my hand.

Now, all that whining aside, I'm not trying to say that I don't believe that hormonal changes bring major body challenges. I totally do believe the studies that show that a percentage of women will have weight challenges during menopause (and during pregnancy). But I also see that as a warning, like bone density, that we need to prepare ourselves for the challenges ahead.

So I guess the bottom line of my blog today is that this article really irritated me (can you tell? I know, I'm usually so subtle).

So here's my question for the day - have you ever heard an 'absolute' and refused to believe or live it? Have you ever heard one and gave in to it?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Back At It.

I've had one heckuva month. A major deadline, changes to a book the last week before it was due, the end of school, testing, a trip to Vegas, line edits, writing two short synopses for previous books, and a few dozen other things.

In other words life.

We all have it happen. It's a given that things are going to get crazy from time to time. That we'll have intense stress and demands on our energy.

I don't mind that. What I do mind is that I let it derail my awesome exercise progress. For over 100 days, I'd exercised 6 days a week for at least an hour a day. I'd kicked butt. I was in the groove and even more important, I was in the habit. I didn't even have to think twice about whether I'd workout, I just knew I would.

It was a great feeling.

I miss it.

Because I know darned well that when I get up today (its midnight as I write this, so it'll be later when I get up *g*) I'm not going to be in the habit. I won't recognize the groove. I won't want to exercise and will care less about how great it'll feel after I'm done. I'll look at the big pile of excuses (laundry, time with the kids after 16 nights of no kid time, cleaning the pantry, prepping the yard for the new patio, etc) and try and talk myself out of exercising. I know I will, even though I know I need to get back to it. Because, I swear, it's harder to get started than it is to keep going. It takes a good solid month before its not hard for me to convince myself to exercise.

I hate that. I'll do it anyway, but I know I'll be cussing at myself the entire time because I fell off the wagon and have to start all over.

How about you? Do you have any get-going-again tips? Do you find it harder to get started than to keep going?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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There is Only One Way to Fail

I started this topic four weeks ago when I blogged about the 4 steps toward achieving a goal as outlined in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT.

1. Visualize
2. Tell yourself whatever you visualize is already here
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes
4. and Realize there is no such thing as failure.

Three weeks ago we looked at step 1 - Visualization. the next week week we discussed step 2- Having Faith. And last week looked at step 3, Being willing to do whatever it takes. That brings us to the wrap up - Realizing there's no such thing as failure.

This is a biggie for me, because my biggest personal fear in life is to fail. But after awhile, I've come to realize that as long as we continue working toward a goal, as long as we don't give up -we haven't failed. It's only when we stop trying that we can actually accept the label 'failure'.

Take writing, for instance. When I first began writing, I read tons of author success stories. Unlike many authors, I wasn't one of those that started writing young, or had always written. So I didn't have a natural foundation to build from, other than English and a couple creative writing classes in high school. So I studied the how-to's. I researched. I noted that the average length of time it took many authors to sell their first book was 4 years. 4 was good. I liked that. So I set a goal of selling by December of 2005 (I started writing in Feb of 2002). I wrote this goal on a bright purple index card and tacked it to the bulletin board above my computer monitor. I saw it every day when I sat down to write.

My four years were filled with ups and downs. I got requests, I got rejections. I won contests, I tanked in contests. I hired an agent, I fired that agent. I was thisclose so many times, it reached the point that it was emotionally debilitating to keep picking myself up after yet another... hmm, it sounds like failure would fit here, doesn't it. But no - I'll call it a miss instead *g*

In the fall of 2005, I was really close to wanting to give up. The line I'd been targeting had closed - right before they bought my book (an offer was pending). The agent I had such high hopes for didn't work out and firing her not only made me feel like a loser, the ire from fellow writers at my nerve to fire an agent when so many were trying to find one was horrible. I had my hands full with two kids, homeschool, my own business, and so many other things that demanded my time and energy and I wasn't getting anywhere - I thought -with the writing.

It was like our discussions here about weight loss. We do all the right things. We try, we put so much of ourselves and our hopes into success... and we keep hitting roadblocks. Or backsliding. Or just not seeing progress. That's how I felt.

That December, as I sat down to make my new year's goals, I took down my index card. I'd promised myself I'd give it 4 years. And the 4 years were up.

But... if I gave up, I'd fail. Did I mention how much I hate failure?

So I tacked that index card back on the board, justifying that 4 years wasn't until February 2006, after all, so I still had time. And in March, I justified that I was really close to and just needed to keep on trying. And in May I shifted my picture of Captain Jack Sparrow a little to the left so he covered part of that index card so I didn't have to be reminded of it.

And on May 29, 2006 I sold my first book.

But if I'd given up when things were so dismal and falling apart, that wouldn't have happened.

Our main focus here at Healthy Writer is on the health side -weight loss, exercise, nutrition. But we're writers and that can't be ignored. I've come to realize that just as hard as it was to deal with all those misses and ups and downs as I worked toward my goal of selling my first book, it'll be that hard to stay on track to reach my health goals. I never gave up on the writing. And I won't give up on being a healthy writer.

Because the only way to fail is to quit trying.

So... what do you think? Can you buy into the non-failure mindset? Did Dr. Dyer's 4 steps resonate with you?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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How Willing Are You

Three weeks ago, I talked about the 4 steps toward achieving a goal as outlined in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT.

1. Visualize
2. Tell yourself whatever you visualize is already here
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes
4. and Realize there is no such thing as failure.

Two weeks ago we looked at step 1 - Visualization. Last week we discussed step 2- Having Faith. So this week we're on to step 3, Being willing to do whatever it takes.

To be honest, its this step that always trips me up. I'm the queen of visualization. I'm great with the faith thing. But the what am I willing to do? I always think 'anything!'. But the reality comes down to something more like, 'what am I not willing to do.'

To lose weight, I'm not willing to have surgery. I'm not willing to exercise more than 1 1/2 hours a day. I'm not willing to eat meat. I'm not willing to get up early to exercise.

You see what I mean? Its so easy to make a not willing list. Its more realistic and honest than the willing list. Because while I say I'll do anything, I really won't.

But what if the answer is in one of those things I'm not willing to do? What if the secret to weight loss is exercising at 5am for 2 hours, and eating boneless skinless chicken with each meal?

You know, if I had a guarantee, I'd probably do the first two and find a way around the third. Because if it works, I'd do anything. Right?

I think the hardest part of being willing to do whatever it takes is figuring out what it is that it does take. To try, give it time, allow for failures and eliminate things that don't work. And really, to not give up. Which brings us to next week's step, of course.

What about you? What are you willing to do to lose weight? And what are you not willing to do?

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Having Faith

Two weeks ago, I talked about the 4 steps toward achieving a goal as outlined in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT.

1. Visualize
2. Tell yourself whatever you visualize is already here
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes
4. and Realize there is no such thing as failure.

Last week I talked about step 1 - Visualization. This week I wanted to talk about having the faith to believe that the goal will happen.

One of the toughest things I've discovered is pushing on toward a goal when things don't look encouraging. Writing after rejection. Entering a contest after mean contest judge comments. Reading reviews after one of my books have been trashed. Exercising when the scale won't budge. Eating healthy when it doesn't seem to matter if it's carrot sticks or donut sticks, the weight is still there.

My take on step 2 of Dr. Dyer's outline is to have faith. To truly believe that those things we want -that we put the effort and energy into working for and visualizing, will actually manifest. They will come true. We might not have a solid handle on the when. Or even on the how. But if we visualize - we see a goal and really believe, without restrictions or rules or worries, but believe that it'll happen... then it will.

Its not easy. I get frustrated when I'm 'doing everything right' and not getting any results. In the past, that's usually the signal for me to just quit trying and focus on things I can get results from. But not this time, not now. Instead, I'm having faith that the images I so carefully visualize will become reality. I don't know when, I don't know if what I'm doing now will make it happen of if I'll discover something great tomorrow that makes it all click faster. But I do know that quitting guarantees failure.

How about you? Do you have any special tricks to keeping the faith and staying positive that your visualizations and goals will come true?



Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Vizualization

Last week, I talked about the 4 steps toward achieving a goal as outlined in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT.

1. Visualize
2. Tell yourself whatever you visualize is already here
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes
4. and Realize there is no such thing as failure.

Today I wanted to look at the first of those steps a little closer.


Visualizing – what is it? In its simplest form, it’s the ability to imagine. Hey, we’re writers, we imagine GREAT. So – how do we apply that to getting what we want?

By imagining a scene in which you are the heroine (or hero). In this scene, you have reached your writing goals, your weight goals, your health goals, etc...

Imagine it – It could be sliding into a pair of size 7 jeans, wearing a skimpy little black dress, running up the stairs without getting winded. It could be The Call, or a huge party to celebrate your first sale, or your first appearance on the best-seller list, or you up on stage accepting your RITA.

Like writing, how can you flesh this scene out? Can you add people? Familiar settings, sounds, scents. Can you close your eyes and imagine them? Picture it all– flesh the scene out and make it real.

If you can't close your eyes and see the images in your mind's eye, write them. Just like you're writing a scene in the first person, layer in all the details. Be sure to include how it feels to accomplish your goal!!

Spend at least 5 minutes a day with this scene. Re-read it, tweak it, visualize it.

The truth is, our sub-conscious minds can’t discern between what is real and what is imagined. Science has shown that if you create an image in your sub-conscious mind and you visualize it daily, it becomes real to your sub-conscious and will soon find your conscious self working harder to create that reality.

Have you ever used visualization as a tool for writing or for weight loss? How's that gone? And if not, what do you think about giving this a try?


Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Seeing Is Believing

I'm currently re-reading Dr. Wayne Dyer's YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT. I'm a huge fan of Dr. Dyers and have pretty much read all his works. Oftentimes, when I'm feeling frustrated and stuck, I stand in front of my bookcase (which bookcase depends on what area of life I'm feeling stuck and frustrated with *g*). I let my eyes cruise the titles, and grab the one that jumps out at me as having whatever info I need to get unstuck.

My current source of frustration is with my weight journey and KNOWING that there is something beyond the simple science (calories in / calories out) that I had to overcome before I'd see the progress I wanted. So the bookcase I stood in front of was my non-fiction collection. And YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT was the book I grabbed.

And on my first night of reading, I ran across this - yes, the exact answer to my frustrations...

Dr. Dyer outlines 4 simple steps for achieving a goal.

1. Visualize
2. Tell yourself whatever you visualize is already here
3. Be willing to do whatever it takes
4. and Realize there is no such thing as failure.

I love these simple, yet complexly intense, steps. I thought they'd be great focuses for the next few week's blogs, both expanding on each step and on how it applies to my weight loss journey. So next week, I'll blog about visualization, etc...

In the meantime - tell me, have you read Dr. Dyer's work, or this book in particular? Is there a self-help guru you turn to on a regular basis for reading comfort?

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But I'm So Busy!

April was insane for me. By the 30th, I had the partial for my March '11 Blaze due. I had the galley edits for my Sept. '10 Blaze due. And I had revisions and an epilogue for my Dec. '10 Blaze novella due. Just typing both exhausts me and makes me feel a little like I'm bragging, which I definitely don't mean to be! Don't get me wrong, this is a major dream come true. I'm ecstatic to have my contracts and the deadlines!

But when they hit like this, all at the same time, I stress hugely. And while I've got a solid handle on the stress eating (avoid it, ignore it, pretend strawberries are a wonderful substitute for chocolate), I don't have a good handle on the time factor.

And when I stress, I cocoon. Some people get a little manic. They clean, exercise, do tons of stuff. Me? I want to nap. I stare at the computer screen. I write words over and over and over, then delete them and wish I hadn't. I refuse to cut back on commitments to my kids or husband or house, because stress always brings out my inner SuperWoman urges. I write endless to-do lists.

What I don't do? I don't want to exercise. I seem to go into automatic "but I don't have enough time" mode and think of a million and twelve reasons to blow off exercising.

Exercise. You know, that stuff that releases stress. That energizes both the mind and body. That makes all those really cool hormones and endorphins and nifty things that would be soooo good for me. Those things that would, of course, make me stress less and help me achieve all my goals.

Nifty, huh? And my mind keeps trying to talk me into avoiding it. I, of course am doing my best to ignore my mind. So far, I'm doing pretty well. I've managed to keep my workouts to at least 5 days a week, even in high stress (6 is my norm). I'll admit, I'm exercising with a bit less intensity about half those days since I end up running at 9pm instead of 2pm like I'd prefer, but I'm still getting the run in, right? And I haven't given in to take a week off. All good.

So here's my question. When you get overwhelmed, is exercise --or writing-- the first thing to go on your to-do list? How often do you tell yourself you just don't have time? How often do you find yourself making excuses that you know are flimsy, to get out of exercising --or writing?



Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Why?

Why do you want to lose weight?

Why do you want to write a book?

I think the answer to those questions are the key to sticking with it when things get rough. When the rejections start rolling in or the scale won't budge. When watching that TV show sounds so much better than working through that plot problem and the chocolate chip cookie smells soooo good your mouth waters.

Just like in crafting a solid character in our writing, we have to have a strong enough motivation to push us to face the things we don't want to face -and one strong enough to keep us on track (or haul us back on track) when we veer off. After all, when faced with the struggles and the roadblocks, knowing your motivation is often the only way through, isn't it?

So what's your motivation? How strong is it?

At one point, my motivation was the yearly National Writer's Conference so I could wear cute clothes when I saw my friends. Somewhere around May, after the workshop schedule was released, the loops would start buzzing about conference fun. Before I'd sold my first book, conference always became this looming deadline. I had to sell by conference. I had find an agent by conference. I had to lose weight by conference. To this day, I have no idea what I thought was going to happen if I didn't achieve those goals -and you know what? I never did achieve them in the way I planned. I never reached that "perfect weight". The first time I'd sent the agent goal, I fired her right before conference. And my first sale? I wasn't even planning on attending conference that year!

No, that particular motivation obviously wasn't compelling enough, was it.

I had to really think about what losing weight, what being healthy, what writing, all meant to me. Why did I want them. Why were they worth the hours of time, the tons of energy, the vast amount of emotional stress they'd require to accomplish? The answers were a lot deeper than I'd though they'd be - although I do admit, being able to wear really cute clothes that show off my fabulous shoe collection did stay on the list!

How about you? Have you ever tried to figure out what your motivation is? Is it big enough, strong enough, to push you through the roadblocks you might encounter along the way?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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How Hard Are We Working?

I've spent the last two weeks gaining and losing the same pound. Up a pound one day, two days later, the pound is gone. A few days later, its up. Then, thankfully, down. And so on... I felt like a very angry yo-yo.

My first impulse was to throw the scale through the wall. I mean, it was obviously defective, right?

My second impulse was to throw my hands in the air, say to heck with the exercising (actually my words were a little stronger, but this is a public blog LOL) and go sit in my comfy chair and read for that hour instead of sweating.

My third impulse was to slap my arms over my chest, stick out my lower lip and pout like a pro.

I went with the third impulse. For about an hour. Then I sucked it up and asked myself a few questions.

Have I lost weight in this journey? Yes.

Have I lost more inches than the scale represents? Most definitely.

Have I been sick and could that affect my weight, since I had many days where I hardly ate anything and others that I walked instead of ran? Yep. For sure.

Did I make any bad eating choices in that week? Well, sure, if we want to be really honest. Eating out once a week isn't a bad thing, but eating out twice in one day was probably stupid.

And once I was feeling better, had I been working out at my maximum? Hmmm, this was the real question. This was the one that hit me in the gut, made me cringe a little, hem and haw and try to wiggle out of answering.

Since January 31 of this year, I've kept my 6 day a week, 1 hour a day exercise schedule. I've dutifully logged my calories via my heart rate monitor. I had a range, and I shot to keep my workouts in that range.

And that, I realized, was a major problem. The more I exercise, the more conditioned I become. Yes, I have to work a lot harder to burn 500 calories now than I did in February, because my heart's becoming healthier and my body is working more efficiently. But... I wasn't pushing past that. I wasn't stretching the envelope.

I wasn't working hard enough.

I was proud of myself for exercising. I stuck with the workouts, I kept my schedule. But once it became comfortable, I quit pushing. I quit trying hard enough.

So yesterday I pushed. I didn't watch a TV show while I ran, I listened to music instead. I kept the distractions to a minimum and kept my focus on pushing. And I burned an extra 100 calories in the same amount of exercise time.

How about you? When you workout, are you pushing or just showing up?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Journey or Destination

Years ago, my parents went to listen to a Zig Ziglar motivational workshop and came home all jazzed up and enthused. My step-mom proceeded to give everyone on the office (they own a modeling and talent agency - which is a whole 'nother post on body image issues, btw), as well as my father and I a test generated by the workshop. Among the many questions, there was one in particular that stood out.

Do you see life as a journey? Or a destination?

I answered that I saw life as a book (this was about 15 years before I started writing), with various chapters that all build on each other. My father had a similar answer that was outside the box. We drove her nuts because she couldn't 'grade' us *g*

But this is a question that I've been thinking a lot about lately.

It's so applicable to life. To writing. To a healthy lifestyle.

Do you love the process of writing? The actual sitting down to the keyboard to pour out the words. Or do you love having written? The reading back over the words, the story, you created.

Do you love living a healthy lifestyle? Eating whole, low-fat, calorie aware foods. Exercising at a rate that either maintains or releases weight. Monitoring your thoughts and attitudes to ensure a healthy emotional state of mind. Or do you live a healthy lifestyle to achieve a goal? Eat, exercise and attitude are all focused on a result, either reaching a goal weight, or maintaining an ideal weight?

I'd love your input. Trish, Michelle and I are giving a Healthy Writer workshop at the RWA conference this summer and I'd like to include some stats from writers on this exact question. So... do me a favor - comment here, for sure! But because Blogger doesn't support (or really, I don't know how to do it here) a poll feature, can you pop over to my blog and cast your vote. Thanks!!!

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Motivational Triggers

Last week, I talked about negative triggers that get in the way of our weight loss, good eating habits and exercise goals.

This week I want to talk about the positive side -Motivational triggers. Things that will have the opposite effect and instead help with weight loss, assist you in keeping your good eating habits and encourage exercise.

If you took a few minutes to track or recognize your negative triggers, you can see how the connection is made. Repeated behaviors, things you do over and over, create a trigger, a sub-conscious 'on' button that will elicit a specific behavior. Cool, huh?

So how can you use this? Create pre-meditated triggers.

Ask yourself what you want to trigger. Lets use eating breakfast as an example. Say you know that eating breakfast would be a healthy choice. You know all the smart reasons. But you don't 'like' breakfast. Or you don't have time. Or you just aren't hungry. In other words, you have plenty of excuses.

The first step is to set the excuses aside and plan to do it anyway. Look at them realistically and find answers to them.

Figure out what you like to eat and a way to make it available. It could be making something the night before, or earlier in the week, like an egg bake, that you can have individual servings ready to go (takes care of that time issue, since it's a grab and go). It could be pre-cutting up fruit into sealable packages, or buying (healthy, please) toaster waffles.

Then find the trigger that will work for you. It might take a few until one clicks.

• Set the table with a pretty place setting the night before.
• Get up an hour earlier, eat breakfast at your laptop while reviewing the previous day's writing.
• Move your exercise to morning, eating something light before and a protein-rich meal after your workout.

Can you see the trigger for each new habit? The place setting, reviewing, exercising are all going to create connections that, if repeated, will create a signal to your sub-conscious, tying the behavior (seeing a pretty place setting in the morning) with the automatic reaction (sitting down to eat breakfast at the pretty place setting).

I created a trigger for exercise by doing a short, 15 minute Bosu step workout in the morning as soon as I get up -before I eat. Its not too long a workout to be difficult on an empty stomach, it burns more fat than if I workout after eating and it sets a signal. If I do this morning workout, I always follow up with my afternoon run. Always. I've told my body that I'm going to exercise today and my body knows that this beginning will be followed by the running ending.

It keeps me motivated to exercise, I don't even have to think about it, just get up, brush my teeth, throw on the exercise clothes that are waiting in the bathroom, strap on my heart rate monitor and plug in my headphones. It took me three weeks to create this trigger.

What about you? What is a healthy habit you'd like to create and what kind of triggers can you think of to anchor it? Can you think of at least three possibilities for each habit, just in case the first doesn't work?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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All those Triggers

Have you ever been hypnotized? There is a tool in hypnosis called triggering. This is used in a variety of therapies as well. Basically, it's creating a connection between actions, or between an action and a message.

Negative triggers are ones we often develop over time, and are usually unaware of.

Reaching for sweets when we feel hurt. ("Here, baby, have a cookie while momma puts a bandage on that skinned knee.")

A soda and large popcorn - with butter - at the movie theater. (We've ordered it so many times, we don't even thing twice. And the popcorn is halfway empty by the time the previews are over.)

A donut at the monthly writer's meeting as we chat with friends. ("What? I always have a donut. Its only once a month and everyone else is having one.")

Bailing on exercise when we've had a bad day. (Sure, we know it'll probably make us feel better. But the first day it happened in our exercise commitment, it was easier to collapse on the couch with the excuse that the day sucked and just be done with it. The second sucky day was even easier to justify. By the fourth one, we just head straight to the couch, no justification needed.)

A bad number on the scale, despite dedicated, hard work toward losing weight. Its so hard to do everything right and not see results. This is one of those purely emotional triggers, and this number on the scale often pushes us to throw up our hands, cuss and give it up. After all, we did our best, didn't we?

Usually, we don't even hear ourselves make the decisions for these choices. They are simply habits. Habits triggered by circumstances and whatever emotional tie we've created over time.

How do we break triggers? The first step is awareness. The second is interruption. The third is consistency.

Think of an unhealthy habit and try to figure out the trigger for it. Say the movie theater popcorn, soda (and sometimes redvines, right?). The movie is the trigger for the junk food. This is awareness. Now find an interruption. For me, I knew I didn't want to give up the popcorn, so I pop my own and smuggle it in my purse (shhhhh). For you it might be a smaller soda and popcorn. Or water instead of soda. Or... well, figure out what works. Now -as you start to place your order, interrupt the habit and replace it with the new one. Less junky movie-snacking. The consistency part is pretty much self-explanatory, right? *g*

The most important thing, though, is to be very aware of why you want to change the habit. What's your motivation? Is it strong enough to overcome the trigger urges? If it isn't, you need to find a stronger motivation or avoid the situation until you're able to control the urge.

Next week, I'll talk about motivation triggers and how to create positive triggers that can help you make healthy choices, push you to exercise and inspire you to stick with your program.

So... what are some habits you have, and do you know what triggers the bad choices?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Compounding Pessimism

My husband and I were talking about the frustrations I've had in my quest to lose weight. It was an easy discussion, since this has been a good, losing week for me. And I think that losing and upbeat mindframe is what helped me really see just how negative it can get while struggling to make this habit a lifestyle, and a lifestyle that pays off.

I've likened weight loss to the writing journey before. We begin with intentions, we learn the basics and add our own twists. We find a program, a writing method, an exercise routine or diet that work for us and we... well, we work it. And we sometimes see great early successes, we sometimes see huge letdowns and we often hit brick walls that just make us want to tear our hair out.

My writing journey has been like that. I started writing and saw some immediate success. A request from my first query. A final in my first contest. Multiple Golden Heart finals (not as many as some awesome people, but enough to keep me on the edge of joy/frustration). Rejections, firing an agent, almost-sale-then-the-line-closed close calls.

A lot of slides into pessimism. If you write, how often have you asked yourself if you'll ever sell (if you've already sold, admit it, you asked the question before the call, right?) How often did we take the rejections, the setbacks personally? See them as a prognosis of overall writing success. Or worse, as a measure of ability?

And with each one, it's just another layer of doubt. Layer upon layer upon layer.

My husband calls it compounding pessimism. Each hit, each rejection, each week on the scale without a loss - all add another layer of doubt. Of negative self-talk. Of whininess (maybe that's just me?) As a hypnotherapist, I know the power of compounding messages. What we hear over and over again, what we hear over and over again in different ways, we own. We take to heart. We embrace and embody.

The trick is, compounding optimism is just as easy. And the last few weeks, I'm seeing the results of it. Just like I refused to give in to the beat-down of rejections and quit writing, I've refused to give in to the frustration of not losing weight despite my best efforts. And by not giving up, by continuing to work it just as hard as before and tweak things here and there (just like in writing) I've started seeing great results. The weight is coming off. The inches are dropping away. I'm optimistic, and with each day, I add another layer of faith and optimism to my psyche, sure that yes, I will see this goal achieved.

Compounding messages. What kind are you giving yourself? Have you ever listened to that self-talk, those thoughts that seem to sneak in? Do you see the different ways you're giving yourself the same message, over and over? And does that message help or hinder your enthusiasm as you work toward your goal?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web atwww.tawnyweber.com

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It's All About the Process

I’m preparing to write my tenth contracted Blaze right now. After a few years, my editor and I have narrowed down and honed my writing process. For instance, we know I need a solid, clear-cut synopsis with the plot nailed down before I start writing. We know that the first three chapters will take me the longest to write, often just as long as the rest of the book. And because we know these things, we’ve established a pretty comfortable routine of me writing and turning in my synopsis, she edits and asks for revisions on it, I rewrite and resubmit, etc until its right. Then, with this solid foundation, I write.

This is my process. It works. It’s worked for a lot of books now. And it’s a process that I not only embrace, but actually do enjoy.

I know what I need to do. I know that it will work, once I get it all into place. I know that, while the completed project will take quite a few turns before we reach the bookstore shelf, the process of writing this book will be somewhat similar to previous books and will require a great deal of discipline, faith and creative energy on my part. I also know that because I have a deadline, I’ll stay on track and work the story until its right, but push myself to get it done in a timely way.

All good, right?

So what’s the problem? I’m stuck. I’m stuck and frustrated and stressed. I can’t get the synopsis right, I don’t have a handle on the plot and my characters are murky in my mind. What I’d thought this story would be is nothing like what I’m ending up with on the pages. I’ve started over three times already, each one feeling the weight of writer-doubts pounding at my confidence.

Sound familiar? Isn’t this the same process we often go through in our weight journey? After a few tries, we’ve figured out what works for us. We know the path, we know what we need to do, how to eat and exercise to see results. And we know we’ll hit bumps in the road, we’ll have to revise our plan and we will quite probably hit a few walls that hold us back longer than we’d like.

For me, it’s been a major mind-shift to take my acceptance of this being the norm in writing and realize that yes, it’s also the norm in weight loss. That for me, personally, I have to have a plan. I have to work that plan diligently, revising as necessary and when I get off track, bring myself back into focus. I have to work as if I have a deadline, so I push hard enough to see results. And I have to accept that where I end up might not be exactly where I thought I’d be when I started.

How about you? If you are a writer, do you see any similarity between your writing process and your weight-loss process? If you’re not a writer, does this seem familiar anyhow?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Admit it, Size Matters

Oooh, this post could go in so many naughty directions. But since I just turned in my latest Blaze, I'll step out of the naughty zone and behave ;-)

I'm talking size when it comes to food. I know I'm reiterating quite a bit of what Michelle posted in these links, but it's worth hearing a few times. At for me, I know I need to hear things a few times before it sinks in.

Measure It! Use a food scale and measuring cups. It really won't slow down your meal prep by much, and it's hugely enlightening to see what an ounce really is. For instance, an ounce of cheese is much bigger than I'd thought, but a cup of rice was much smaller than I'd been acknowledging.

Here's a quick-tip portion size comparison:

3 oz. of meat = deck of cards
Baked potato = computer mouse
Fruit = tennis ball
Bagel = hockey puck
1/2 cup chips, popcorn, pretzels, etc. = teacup
Rice or other cooked grain = cupcake wrapper
1 oz. cheese = tube of lipstick
1 oz. nuts = egg
Pasta = light bulb

Frame It: If you choose a smaller plate for your meal, you'll eat less and still feel fuller. Over time, not only have our portion sizes gotten bigger, so have our plates. So if you're controlling your portion size, but putting it on a big saucer-like plate, you're going to feeling like you didn't get enough to eat before you even take your first bite. But if you're just-right portion is on a smaller plate - one that looks filled - you're mind will be satisfied that it's getting enough, and give your stomach time to realize that it's right.

Confirm It: Have you ever been fooled by a nutrition label? I have. For those crazy, on the run days, I'd stocked up a couple frozen meals in the freezer. Just in case. I pulled one out the other day, but before I heated it up I went in to log the calories/protein/fat/carbs in my FitDay program. It was only then that I happened to notice that my low-cal, low-fat, organic, vegetarian healthy meal (which was about 4x5 in size, if that) was supposed to serve 2. Two tiny vegetable enchiladas, to serve 2 people. If I ate only one enchilada, I'd definitely still be hungry. If I ate both, I'd have eaten over half my daily-caloric-allotment. Eeek!! What'd I do? Put it back in the freezer, of course, and had a salad. But I also learned a major lesson to read ALL the deets, not just to give a quick glance at the numbers.

So, really, size does matter, huh?

How about you? Any portion control tips or tricks? Did you ever suffer portion-blindness? You know, where you were clueless what a portion size was or were tricked into thinking you were only having one portion when you were really having much more?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Tracking, and retracking

One of the best weight-control tools I’ve found is to plan out my calories. For the week, as much as possible, but definitely each morning I enter what I plan to eat into my FitDay program so I can gauge where I’m at with calories, nutrients and because its a specific concern for me as a vegetarian, to make sure I’m getting enough protein.

By tracking like this, ahead of the meal, I find I’m no longer starving at dinnertime and already at my projected calorie limit for the day. Or worse and what I faced more often, the clock saying nine pm and I’m still short two or three hundred calories for the day.

Now, this tracking isn’t written in stone. It’s on the computer, so like all of our writing endeavors, the delete key is my friend :-) But it is a great tool to help me stay in control – especially at times when I have events, RWA meetings, girls nights, and that kind of thing to factor in and stay on the right path.
So what happens with something throws it out of control?

We had an unexpected call to celebrate last weekend. My oldest daughter got a monster huge promotion. One she’d worked really hard for, taken management training courses in addition to her college classes and working 30 hours a week. I was so button-popping proud of her. And when she got home to tell me, as soon as we got through dancing around and whohoooing, she asked if we could go out for ice cream to celebrate.

Ice cream? But... I’m trying to lose weight. I’d already planned out my calories for the day. It was too late in the day to add in another workout, and on top of that, my weekly weigh in was the following morning.

So what’s a girl to do? Revise my plans, of course. The first thing I did was go to the Baskin Robbins website and look at their offerings. I chose three options, since I wasn’t sure what they’d have in our little store. I used the highest caloric choice and keyed it into my FitDay program, then adjusted my dinner calories accordingly.

And then, still on track, I took my baby out for ice cream, toasted her success with a tiny pink spoon and loved every second of it. And I’ll admit, half the love came from knowing I was still on track!!!


How about you? Do you ever check out restaurant menus/nutrition info before you head out the door? Have you found it makes the healthy choosing that much easier?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Anti-Support?

Last week I blogged about support teams. You know, those people who keep you motivated on this weight and writing journey. Family, friends, workout partners, critique partners, dogs, magazines, etc...

We came up with a pretty solid list of support, didn't we? And it felt good.

But what about the opposite? That anti-support? You know what I'm talking about -the roadblocks. Roadblocks that deter us from our path. They're there in our quest to create a writing career and in our quest to be healthy writers.

Some are harmless enough. I mean, gramma's only showing her love by making my favorite meal when I come to visit - and I only get to Idaho about once a year, so this is one of those adjustable roadblocks, isn't it? Easy to find a way to overcome (as in, exercise before and/or after dinner - no way I'd miss that meal! I mean, we're talking gramma's cooking here. Stellar stuff!!!)

Others aren't so harmless, but they aren't personal. One of my local RWA chapters provides breakfast of sorts at the meetings. Bagels, fruit and donuts. I'm a big girl, I know I can avoid that tray of donuts. But man, oh man, its hard. Again, I can overcome this roadblock, though, right? I can avoid the donut (and the back of the meeting room to avoid the continuous temptation until all the chocolate covered old-fashioneds are gone), I can eat before going to the meeting so I'm not hungry, I can arrive late, I can skip the meeting altogether. Or I can even give into the donut, factoring it into my weekly caloric plans and exercise accordingly.

Then there are the not-so-harmless, very personal roadblocks. Oh, you know the ones. If you're a writer, you've probably met them up close and personal, right? Contest judges with their poison pen. Reviewers who gleefully wield a shredder. Writing friends who don't think you 'deserve' whatever rung you're currently standing on. Its hard not to take those personally, isn't it? Even though, really, the issues at hand aren't ours.

Maybe some of the roadblocks are family. The hubby who just doesn't understand why you are trying to kill him with all this rabbit food. The friend who's pissed that you won't meet her for Friday night drinks anymore (but wont' meet you for lunch at the salad bar). The snotty little skinny gal at the gym who rolls her eyes at your form and makes passive-aggressive suggestions that you need a lifelong gym membership if you're ever going to get that butt in shape.

So how do you get past THOSE roadblocks? What do you do to work around the people or situations in your life that keep adding to your challenge to meet your fitness and health goals?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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Who's In Your Corner

I realized today that I'm very VERY lucky. Yes, for a lot of reasons, but today's realization was for a specific one. I have an incredible support in my life.

Because, lets face it, losing weight isn't easy. Maintaining weight isn't easy. Writing, for that matter, isn't easy. They all require a lot of focus, a lot of energy and a lot of motivation. And while we can probably generate those things alone, and do it quite well, its really hard to keep that going for the long term.

Which is where support comes in.

Studies show that people lose more weight if they have a support group. I don't think there have been studies done on the writing side of that, but I'd be willing to bet that people find more writing success if they, too, have a support group.

What's required to be a support group? Personally, I think it can be any number of things. My family is fabulously supportive and encouraging in both my health goals and my writing goals. My critique partner and I email daily with both our writing progress and what exercise we've done. A good friend and I check in weekly to report our weight gain or loss, keeping us both focused on our health goal. I belong to an exercise challenge group right now, too.

And then there's this blog. Right here is one great support group, isn't it? In addition, I listen to motivational podcasts (okay, granted,the speakers might not realize they are my support group... but they are).

That's a LOT of energy supporting my goal to get healthier, isn't it?

How about you? Can you list (yeah, yeah, I know, my favorite word *g*) your support people? Did you include this blog? And if the list isn't as long as you'd like, where can you look to add to it? Gym buddies, weight loss programs, good friends? Isn't everything easier if you have people in your corner rooting for your success?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at www.tawnyweber.com

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