Showing posts with label pessimism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pessimism. Show all posts

Friday, June 18, 2010

Prey animals


My harshest editor weighs only 4.2 pounds. He waits for me each morning, eager to read over my shoulder. Occasionally he stomps the delete key, erasing whole paragraphs and forcing me to rethink a scene. A grumpy old man trapped in the body of a cuddly bunny, he always thinks I could do better, start earlier, and write more. Except for this Monday, when he wasn’t waiting, already annoyed at my lateness. Instead he sat on his litter box, lethargic and unwilling to move. I raced to the call the vet, frantic at what could happen.

For those of you that don’t know a rabbit intimately, here are a few common aliments and their outcomes:







Illness Outcome
Pink eyedeath
Diarrheadeath
Nose colddeath
Stomach upsetdeath
Torn Toe Naildeath


I’m exaggerating but only a little. Rabbits are prey animals. They make wonderful pets and great writing companions, but veterinary medicine can only do so much to extend their fragile lives.

Is your writing a prey animal? If you hit a stopping point in the middle of a new manuscript does the whole piece die? What if you turn out a clunky, poorly worded sentence, is that a cause for certain death?

Is your health a prey animal? If you find that running isn’t for you, does that mean you give up on all your plans to start exercising? If you can’t find a healthy breakfast do you kill the rest of the day by eating bad-for-you-food?

I can only do so much to keep my furry editor alive. Healthy food in the right amounts, a clean living environment, and lots of love will extend his natural lifetime from one year to ten times that amount. Thankfully, healthy writing doesn’t have short lifespan.

Writing can be made stronger, through classes and workshops, or just plain writing more. You can resurrect works that have lain nearly dead for years by getting a fresh pair of eyes to make suggestions. You may need to amputate bad scenes or even cut away everything but the healthy subplots, but there’s always something you can do.

You can do the same for your health by not letting yourself be stopped by little problems. It’s fun to daydream about how much weight you’ll lose and how fit you’ll look when you join a new gym, but don’t let those dreams go because the membership is too expensive. Don’t stop yourself from seeking out ways to get enough sleep, relax at the end of the day, or eat a healthy meal. Find ways around problems instead of giving into them.

As of Monday afternoon, my editor was waiting for our usual after-work rereading session. The tummy trouble brought on by indulging in sweets cleared up before his vet could work him into the schedule. I don’t know how many more mornings I’ll have with him, but I know I’ll work hard to make as many of them happen as I can, the same way I’ll work hard to keep my writing and my health.
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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Compounding Pessimism

My husband and I were talking about the frustrations I've had in my quest to lose weight. It was an easy discussion, since this has been a good, losing week for me. And I think that losing and upbeat mindframe is what helped me really see just how negative it can get while struggling to make this habit a lifestyle, and a lifestyle that pays off.

I've likened weight loss to the writing journey before. We begin with intentions, we learn the basics and add our own twists. We find a program, a writing method, an exercise routine or diet that work for us and we... well, we work it. And we sometimes see great early successes, we sometimes see huge letdowns and we often hit brick walls that just make us want to tear our hair out.

My writing journey has been like that. I started writing and saw some immediate success. A request from my first query. A final in my first contest. Multiple Golden Heart finals (not as many as some awesome people, but enough to keep me on the edge of joy/frustration). Rejections, firing an agent, almost-sale-then-the-line-closed close calls.

A lot of slides into pessimism. If you write, how often have you asked yourself if you'll ever sell (if you've already sold, admit it, you asked the question before the call, right?) How often did we take the rejections, the setbacks personally? See them as a prognosis of overall writing success. Or worse, as a measure of ability?

And with each one, it's just another layer of doubt. Layer upon layer upon layer.

My husband calls it compounding pessimism. Each hit, each rejection, each week on the scale without a loss - all add another layer of doubt. Of negative self-talk. Of whininess (maybe that's just me?) As a hypnotherapist, I know the power of compounding messages. What we hear over and over again, what we hear over and over again in different ways, we own. We take to heart. We embrace and embody.

The trick is, compounding optimism is just as easy. And the last few weeks, I'm seeing the results of it. Just like I refused to give in to the beat-down of rejections and quit writing, I've refused to give in to the frustration of not losing weight despite my best efforts. And by not giving up, by continuing to work it just as hard as before and tweak things here and there (just like in writing) I've started seeing great results. The weight is coming off. The inches are dropping away. I'm optimistic, and with each day, I add another layer of faith and optimism to my psyche, sure that yes, I will see this goal achieved.

Compounding messages. What kind are you giving yourself? Have you ever listened to that self-talk, those thoughts that seem to sneak in? Do you see the different ways you're giving yourself the same message, over and over? And does that message help or hinder your enthusiasm as you work toward your goal?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web atwww.tawnyweber.com
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