Falling down

I’m a runner. I’m not fast, nor graceful. I am not a thing of beauty and strength on two legs. I’m a runner who sometimes falls down. I have plenty of very good excuses why I fall, but that doesn’t stop it from happening.

You would think running is easy: left foot, right foot, repeat as necessary. But thanks to a stroke, my left foot often responds to the call to go forward by saying “Who me? Sure, yeah, I’ll get right on that…” And down I go.

The beauty of falling down often is that you learn it’s not something to be afraid of. It hurts, yes. You end up bloody and bruised, but the first steps up are the hardest. After that you’re mostly just embarrassed and a little ashamed you did something so silly. I learned that falls on concrete take longer to heal than falls on dirt, so I run in the woods.

There’s a tree along my route in the woods, one I used to hate but now I love. The tree stood as a marker. My first goal was running to the tree, then past the tree, and then to the tree, past the tree, and back to the tree. The tree talked trash to me in the beginning, long taunts of “You really think you’re going to make it? You’re already panting. I’ve stood here longer than you’ve been alive little girl. I’ve seen would-be runners come and go, and you’ll go. Trust me.” I cursed that tree for standing just ten feet away from where my breath ran out, just steps from where I had nothing left but acid in my veins and two collapsed lungs.

But after weeks that turned into months, a magical thing happened: I did run to the tree, past the tree, and back to the tree. Suddenly my tree was a symbol of what I had accomplished, a sentry standing firm over the spot where I proved I could do it. After that, the tree only told me good things, and when I fell it told me to get back up and try again.

My tree often repeats a Japanese proverb to me “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” When it thinks I need it, it quotes Batman Begins “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” When the winter ice makes it dangerous to visit my tree, I think about it missing me. As a writer I can be forgiven that flight of fantasy and I’ve often walked out to see that tree in snow and icy conditions when running is a very dumb idea, just to wrap my arms around it and remember how it felt to run to the tree, past the tree, and back.

Maybe you don’t fall down in the woods. Maybe it isn’t a tree that taunts you but a Big Mac. Maybe the voice inside your head belongs to someone who loved you but hurt you a little too. It doesn’t matter, falling down works the same way for everyone: it hurts but you get back up, brush yourself off, and start going again. You’ll probably limp for a few days. People will see your bruises and cringe. None of that matters. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

In the mood to share? I’m always happy to hear about how someone picked themselves up from a spectacular fall.

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It won’t kill you.

My father’s feet turned to clay when I was ten years old. Before then, he stood as a giant who protected me from everything. At 6’3” and 250 pounds, Dad held us up so we could reach the stars. But the year I turned ten Dad was diagnosed with diabetes. My invincible hero turned into a man with cautions attached to his life. The strongest caution accompanied food. I learned early in my Dad’s diagnosis that if he didn’t eat he would die. Being hungry would kill him. I internalized this message a bit too well, and never let myself go more than a few hours without food.

A funny thing happened when I was 29. I spent 24 hours without eating. It wasn’t by choice, there were other things on my mind at the time, not to mention doctors and nurses who ordered me to take only water. Not a single bite or drop of juice for 24 hours and somehow I survived. Since then I’ve disproven the lesson from my childhood over and over again. I’ve actually come to appreciate being a little hungry. It makes me savor my food, helps me look forward to it. Surprisingly, if I push away from the table still slightly hungry, I can go three or four hours before I need to eat again. I will admit to getting “hangry,” a word a friend made up meaning so hungry you’re angry at everyone, but I haven’t died yet.

Another unspoken family rule taught me that exercise wasn’t to be trusted. Exercise hurt. If you did too much, you would have a heart attack and die. If you escaped that fate you were sure to end up with injuries: torn ligaments, pulled muscles, and surely, broken bones. My Aunt who biked regularly had to have knee surgery. She became an example of why it was best to just avoid all of that danger.

I started running in my early twenties. I was (and am) super slow. In addition to surely dying, according to family and friends I risk a number of maladies every time I put on my sneakers: joint degeneration, back pain, knee problems, and (a personal favorite) any minute now my uterus is going to fall out. And yet, like being hungry, running hasn’t killed me. I’ve come to believe it won’t. I even own a t-shirt that says “Running won’t kill you. You’ll pass out first.”

Exercise makes me feel better. It clears up migraines before they really start. It soothes my moods and helps me form strong friendships with other runners. It teaches me that I can pick a goal and stick to it, no matter what. At the end of March Trish challenged us to set a goal and stick with it. I chose running every other day in preparation for a local 5K. In the month since then my grandmother died, I’ve dealt with job issues, and I had to revisit some old fears. Still I ran. Every other day, despite weather, exhaustion, and just plain lack of any desire to, I got out there. My 5K was the day after my grandmother’s burial. I ran. …and it didn’t kill me.

What lessons hold you back? If you took them out and looked at them, would they still be true? Are you willing to give up the security of those lessons to be healthy?

~~~

When she’s not cooking, buying, or dreaming about food, Rachel Kleinsorge writes steamy paranormal mystery romances. She is currently waiting for the call from her agent, the amazing Carolyn Grayson, while working on her next novel.

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Call for guest bloggers

It's hard to believe we're winding down another year. Didn't 2009 just start?

We're getting ready for an exciting 2010 here at Healthy Writer, and one of the things we bring you each week is a guest blog each Friday (except today). Are you a writer? Would you like to blog with us one Friday about your personal weight loss/healthy living journey? About some aspect of living a healthy life? If you or someone you know is interested, please have him or her contact me at trishmilburn AT yahoo DOT com to be considered. We love to hear what other writers have to say about the challenges and joys of the journey to healthier living.

And speaking of which, I've worked a tad of running into my treadmill routine. I was on the treadmill for 65 minutes today, and about 2 1/2 of those minutes were running (split up; a minute is about all I can do right now). I'm hoping to gradually work in more. I don't see myself running any marathons, but any amount of running is more than I've done for years. It isn't my thing, but I'm trying. Even when I was a teenager and thin and on the track team, I wasn't very good. I might hold the school record for slowest 800m. :)

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My Exercise Endeavor - The Right Equipment

By Tawny Weber

Last week as I re-embraced my love for jogging, I discovered three things:

1. A once broken foot, even after 3 years, can still hurt.

2. Support is everything.

3. Sometimes an ugly shoe is okay (okay, I shuddered as I typed this one).

My sneakers were, well, old and worn. My first time back on the treadmill to jog and I was almost in tears, my feet hurt so badly (especially the foot I’d broken). But they were cute shoes! They were solid black, which meant they went with everything I wear, and usually there was a nice clean flow of color from my black yoga pants or black sweatpants or, well, any pants but jeans, since I have at least a dozen pair of comfy black pants that are meant for exercise but inevitably worn for writing (hey, can I call them ‘writing exercise’ pants? No? LOL).

The problem was, they didn’t offer any kind of support for jogging. And worse, since I’m trying to get back into jogging after a 3-year break and a broken foot, they weren’t helping my motivation at all. So I bit the bullet and went to a local running store to be fitted for the right shoes. My only requirement? That the new shoes not be blue.

It was so cool. They put me on a treadmill and videotaped how I run, as well as having me step on a pressure-pad that measured my arch and pressure points. From there they were able to recommend specific shoes that would offer me the right arch support, cushioning and fit. I tried on a bunch, all different brands. And fell in love with one. The cushioning, the support, the fit. It all rocked. I couldn’t believe what a difference it made in how my feet felt. I mean, I’m a gal who thinks nothing of stuffing my toes into 4-inch platforms if they’re cute enough. Wow. I had to have them. As soon as I got home, I tied them on and hit the treadmill. The result? Amazing. Suddenly, the workout was all about achieving, not enduring.

How about you? Have you ever gone in for a special fitting for sneakers? If so, were you surprised by the results? If not, would you ever consider it?

(BTW, the shoes? They’re blue. Sometimes comfort really is more important than fashion.)

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My Exercise Endeavor -- One Foot in Front of the Other

By Tawny Weber

For years, one of my exercise mainstays for first losing, then maintaining weight was my treadmill. I love to run. I love to run indoors even more because when I first started, I had an infant who slept very sporadically and poorly, so my only running time was during her naps. I’d worn through two treadmills by the time she was 6.

Then in 2006 I broke my foot. In 2006, I also sold my first book and discovered the wild world of revisions, line edits, real deadlines, promotion demands and writing under pressure. I’d like to say that if I hadn’t broken my foot, I’d have used the treadmill and exercise as a stress-release tool, but I’m not so sure that’d be the truth. We hauled the treadmill out to storage and I dabbled at a number of other exercise programs, but none seemed to give me that ‘you can do it’ motivation like running had.

So last weekend, I cajoled my ever-so-patient husband and my owes-me-for-years-of-free-babysitting brother into hauling that very heavy treadmill into the house and upstairs. I dusted it off. I spent a half hour searching for the power switch. Then... I was back in business.

After the first day and a minor shoe issue (next week’s blog) it was like coming home. I’d figured it’d take me awhile to get back up to speed –and it really will –but by day 3 I was up to a nice walk/jog interval combo and I can see that within a week or so I’ll be up to a walk/jog/run interval.

It just feels right. There’s no angsty mental whining that I ‘have to’ go force myself to workout. I just want to jump on and do it. Which is a huge relief, let me tell ya. Because I know exercise is the key to my losing this weight.

How about you? Do you run or jog? Any ‘here’s how to love it even more’ tips or hints?
~~~

Progress (Trish): Would you believe a second pedometer I had refuses to work? Ugh. Granted, this one was a freebie from the bank, but still. I'd never used it before. So, I need to do some research on pedometers, find a really good quality one that has good accuracy ratings. Anyone have one that you absolutely love? I really hate not having that step number to look at. It's something I can check throughout the day to see how I'm doing. I was going to go by a sporting goods store today after I finished some interviews for a freelance story I'm working on, but they took way longer than I anticipated (though the story is interesting) and I didn't make it to the store. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to get a new pedometer and do another healthy thing and get my flu shot.

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I'm Not a Runner!

By Anna Sugden

Really! I’m not very sporty, if truth be told. I love watching sport (hockey and football/soccer, etc.) and have played sport (I was good, but not great), but I’m not a devoted athlete. I have always enjoyed keeping fit, but I’ve always found it easier to keep up a regular routine if I do it with a friend. Whether it’s going to aerobics classes or swimming or going to the gym, I’m one of those people who starts off with great gusto and then needs the push of another person to stop me from crying off because I’m too tired/busy/cold *g*. The one thing I was committed to was Fitness Boxing, which I took up in the U.S. with an awesome trainer - until we moved home to England.

As for running, it has never been my thing. Even at school, I struggled with the 400-yard run every year. It kept me from getting my Presidential Physical Fitness award, the few years I was at school in the U.S. I just don’t think my legs were made for running.

My lovely hubby, on the other hand, is a major runner. He’s completed the London Marathon and several half-marathons. He still runs them; he completed the Royal Parks Half-Marathon only last weekend. He regularly runs 6 miles or more several times a week.

What is the point of all this back-story, you ask? LOL.

Well, it’s to put my latest achievement into context. In July, I ran in and completed a 5k race called The Race For Life. It’s a run, solely for women, in aid of breast cancer, that is held in many cities around the UK. Yes, I ran 5k (3.1 miles). Note from Trish: If you look closely, you'll see Anna in the middle of the photo with her arms in the air and wearing sunglasses, behind the girl in the light blue.

How did this come about?

Let me start by saying that moving country is not good for the body or mind. When we moved out to the States, I put on 1 stone (14 lbs). When I moved home to the UK, I put on another stone! Worse, moving home was so disruptive to my writing schedule that after six months, I was still struggling to put it back in order.

Now, I’m not one to mind too much what the scales say - but I do mind when I can’t fit into my clothes! So, earlier this year, I knew I had to act when even my ‘fat girl’ clothes wouldn’t fit. But what to do? There wasn’t a decent boxing trainer around and I wasn’t up for starting classes. We had some gym equipment at home, but getting motivated to keep fit regularly was hard - especially with so much going on.

Then, one weekend, my lovely hubby’s daughters were down for a visit and the older one started talking about wanting to take up running. The younger one was keen too and before I knew it, the three of us had agreed to start running and training and to enter The Race For Life!
The problem was, we didn’t all live in the same area, so we had to train by ourselves and keep ourselves motivated.

The two girls trained using a book called Running Made Easy, which they swear by (and obviously works!). I went for a different method (recommended by lovely hubby) of running in stages, three times a week; increasing the distance a little every week, working up to the full distance. I used a cool Web site called ‘walk, jog, run’ (www.walkjogrun.net) which uses Google Earth, to plot out a 3-mile route, with different interim stages. E.g. I knew if I ran to the local garden centre (nursery) and back, that was just over half a mile, while the BMW garage was 1 mile and so on.

The first week was hell! I could barely make half a mile without being completely exhausted and gasping for breath. I felt awful. I knew I was reasonably fit, but I’m not a runner and that was giving me problems! I was miserable. What had I signed myself up for?

But, I had to keep going. I couldn’t/wouldn’t give up. I couldn’t let the others down! By this stage I’d also told a bunch of my Romance Bandit pals what I was planning and they were cheering me on. Having to report my progress to them was key to me continuing!

Then, my lovely hubby advised me to give myself permission to walk if I had to, but keep doing the distance. He promised it would get easier. Wise man!

The second week was indeed easier. By the end of the third week, I was pushing for half a mile. Soon, half a mile became three-quarters and a whole mile!

Unfortunately, trouble set in with my left ankle. It didn’t like me running on anything but flat surfaces and seized up. In the old days, that would have been the cue for me to give up. But, I’d made the commitment, so I couldn’t. And I couldn’t tell those Banditas I’d given up either!

Also, I’d noticed that on days when I ran, my brain was clearer and I was writing better. I’d found this when I was boxing and was really surprised to see that it was true with the running too. That spurred me to really be strict with myself and those around me about my writing routine, and my running routine.

All that pain was clearly worth it!

So, I went to a running shop and got a pair of proper running shoes, which were suited for the way I run (They videoed me running on a treadmill and discovered my feet roll out. My Nikes weren’t helping!). I also changed my running route slightly to run on flatter pavements.

By the end of the second month, I was up to 2.5 miles! And come race time - I was running 5k three times a week.

Then, on July 5, 2009, I ran the race. I not only survived it, but completed it in decent time. Crossing that finish line was amazing!

I haven’t lost much weight, but I have lost inches because my clothes definitely fit better. And that was really what counted.

And just this week, I finished a new writing project that I’m really proud of (hopefully an editor will love it too!)

So, what did I learn from all this?

1. I’m better at keeping to a fitness challenge if I’m in it with others.

2. I’m more likely to keep up a fitness challenge if I have a clear objective and a deadline. (i.e. I will run a 5k race on July 5!)

3. Don’t try to do it all at once; bite-size chunks. Essentially, these are interim goals. Both the book and my own training routine focused on taking us to our goals one stage at a time.

4. Allow yourself to ‘fail’. If I hadn’t allowed myself the short walking periods, I’m sure I would have given up, because I couldn’t do it. It was more important to finish the distance, even if I did have to walk a little bit of it, than not to do it at all. And then, work on doing the whole distance.

5. Have the proper equipment and listen to the advice of experts! Sounds obvious, but how many of us don’t think we’re ‘serious’ enough for it to be worth spending the time and money?!

6. The fitter my body got, the fitter my mind got.

7. All of the above could be applied to my writing, as well as my running!

8. You can do it, if you put your mind to it!

What about you? Are you someone who finds it easy to stick to goals and plans, with your writing or with fitness and healthy eating, or are you like me? Do you have any tips that will help others achieve their goals? Are there any specific problems you have with achieving your goals and would like some advice?
~~~

Today's progress (Trish):

Calorie intake: 1,583

Exercise: 45 minutes dance aerobics

Steps: 10,051

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