It Is Better to Be in the Game

This past weekend, I went to WRW's annual retreat In the Company of Writers. It is one of my favorite events of the whole year and features a raucous game of Romance Jeopardy on Saturday night. The three hostesses Glinda the Good Witch (Karen Smith), the Scarecrow (Cathy Maxwell), and the Cowardly Lion (Kathleen Gilles Seidel) skipped into the ballroom singing We're Off to See the Wizard, and the fun began.

The number one rule of Romance Jeopardy is "This Game Is Not Fair!" But, as we all cry, "We like it that way." The retreat attendees break up into separate teams with at least one first-time retreat attendee, and the competition heats up with each question. I was on the Munchkins team with (back row) Naomie Hackenberg, Danielle Meitiv, Louise Fury, Barbara Vey, Tim Bentler-Jungr, Elaine English, and Elise Hayes (front row - right, I'm on the left). We're pictured with our serious game faces on! We came in second place, but we went down swinging.

Romance Jeopardy is such a good time that many retreat attendees sit and watch the competition. My roommate, critique partner and dear friend Elise asked, "Why would anyone choose to sit and watch rather than play?" We both agreed it was better to be in the game.

This is a lesson that I sometimes have to relearn especially when it comes to my writing. As I've blogged about before, I just finished my first draft last year even though I've been hanging around RWA since 1996. I've learned tons along the way, made many friends (all my best ones!) and spun lots of stories, but I've yet to submit anywhere. I've been content to sit on the sidelines and observe, but I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be in the game. I'm diving in, and this year is all about me finally submitting. I joke it may happen on Dec. 31st, but it will happen.

For the first time ever, I signed up for literary agent appointments and pitched to three Saturday morning. I was ridiculously nervous about that and wanted to cancel all my appointments, but I'm so tired of retiring from the field before the game begins and feeling like a fake. I skipped out on much of the socializing Friday night to return to my room and work on what I wanted to say and ask when I sat across a table from three leading agents. I did go through some worst-case scenarios and decided if all three told me I was the dumbest writer they had ever met and they never wanted to see a thing I'd produced, I would survive.

Naturally, they did not say that. They were very kind and willing to share their deep knowledge and insights on the publishing world and what they would suggest for my writing projects. This does not mean they said I was the smartest writer they had ever met and they wanted to see everything I'd produced, but they did request the fiction project I was pitching. I also pitched to two of them a nonfiction project based on what I'm doing on my journey to become a healthy woman and lose weight. I really wanted their insights on the health, fitness and self-help markets. One agent said that editors would not buy a prescriptive book on weight loss in the voice of someone who had succeeded at it. You needed a different platform such as some kind of medical expertise. That made me sad, but I think I handled it well.

I was able to take that input and use it to help me frame my questions for the last agent I met to find out how I could sell a book on this journey. If I want to get it published, my choices are to write a memoir and tell the whole story or build a platform, which could be a pretty challenging and time-consuming undertaking. It gave me a lot to think about. I will still work on this project and plan to write a narrative memoir. This may be written for an audience of one or two as Elise will read it. I'm not certain I'll ever submit a memoir because there are parts of the story I may not want to share or parts that family members will not want told, but I'll still work on it. Writing about this has helped me tremendously, and I plan to continue to write and think about my journey until I reach that healthy BMI for my weight. I may need to continue thinking and writing about this until I die because it is one of the most effective ways I have to battle my emotional eating.

So, my pitches were not a slam dunk, but I am so happy that I am in the game. While I was nervous, I felt like I could hold my head up higher as I waited with my fellow WRW members for our appointments and through the rest of the retreat. I am getting over the ways I have sabotaged my best efforts in the past and perhaps even my fear of success. I'm going to stop holding myself back so much. I've never sat on the sidelines of Romance Jeopardy, and I need to stop doing that elsewhere. It is better to be in the game.

I left the retreat Sunday on a complete writers' high. As I drove home, I developed revised writing goals and plans for the rest of the year and am feeling empowered to meet them. Just in case I might let any doubts creep in about getting in the game, the world reinforced the lesson for me. I was welcomed home by a voice message from VFRW. My manuscript Honor's Redemption is a finalist in the historical category of The Sheila Contest. What a way to end a weekend devoted to nurturing the writer's soul and giving her the tools to take the next step in her career!

Are you in the game? Are there times when you would rather observe than play? If you went to the WRW Retreat, what were some of your favorite moments?

Michelle Butler has made becoming a healthy writer a priority. She lives, works and writes in the Washington, DC, area. You can follow her on twitter at http://twitter.com/healthywrtr