Is This a Laughing Matter?

Walking to the metro with a bunch of folks after last week's Weight Watchers meeting, a guy who has lost more than 40 pounds turned to me and said, "I think I have to go see a physical therapist."

All concerned, I asked, "Why?"

"To learn how to walk without my gut."

OK. That was kind of weird. After a few moments, I came up with, "Well, change can always be difficult."

He changed the topic, and we kept chatting. His statement kept gnawing at me though because I didn't quite get it. What a strange thing to say. A day or two later, I realized it was a joke.

Wow! How healthy. I didn't get it because I could not even imagine making a joke about weight loss. Even though I had been motivated by the weekly meeting, I was still in a funk over the fact that I had gained .4 of a pound. And, I knew I had been eating more and moving less the past few weeks, so it should not have been a surprise. I was not quite in the depths of self-loathing that I felt the 18 or 19 times I gained in 2009, but I was still down and completely overreacting to the "bad news" the scale gave me.

I swear I have a sense of humor, and I have been known to make jokes about the urge to overeat but never about this journey to becoming a person with a healthy BMI. Honestly, nothing feels more like an emotional roller coaster than my feelings about this process, and I can feel so full of ugly emotions at these meetings that I wonder why anyone would want to be near me or talk to me. It's raw Michelle with no emotional energy to keep her barriers or boundaries up, and there may be no filter. Oh, the drama, the pain, the suffering, the threat of tears. Some of that can be replaced with joy, hope, pride, optimism, and a positive attitude as the journey is becoming more successful overall but never humor.

Why not? It seems like such a healthy reaction to make a joke about this. I've tried to come up with one, but I've not even come close to thinking of one. Why can't I do that? Why does every part of this journey have to be so dramatic? Why can't I just let go and laugh about it a time or two?

It may be asking too much of myself right now. I hope to come up with a joke before the end of the year. I think it would be a really healthy sign.


Can you see the humor in weight loss? Can you think of any good jokes I could make? Do you think it's easier for men to joke about this than women? Is this a laughing matter?

Michelle Butler has made becoming a healthy writer a priority. She lives, works and writes in the Washington, DC, area. You can follow her on twitter at http://twitter.com/healthywrtr

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A Christmas Chuckle

For all of you who celebrate Christmas, I wish you a very Merry one today. And in the spirit of giving, I'm sharing this holiday humor with you. Just remember as you read it you can laugh, but to stay Healthy Writers in 2010, please do the exact opposite! :)

Holiday Dietary Rules

10. CARROT STICKS

Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

9. EGGNOG

Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare ... you cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

8. GRAVY

If something comes with gravy, use it.. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

7. MASHED POTATOES

As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

6. PRE-EATING

Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.. Hello?

5. EXERCISE

Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a ten-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

4. SANTA COOKIES

If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

3. PIES

Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin, mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? If your southern, substitute pecan for mincemeat, No true southerner would eat that anyway...

2. FRUITCAKE

Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards..

1. MOTTO

One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOOHOO! What a ride!"

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