Why Can I Still Get So Upset When I Gain Weight?

This past Tuesday night, I had a bad weigh in at Weight Watchers as I gained 2.4 pounds. While I try to approach the scale with zero expectations to prevent some kind of emotional boomerang, I do not always succeed. As I wait in line for my turn to get weighed, I can always come up with arguments as to why I might lose weight that week and why I might gain. I honestly could tell the Weight Watchers group leader that my gaining weight wasn't entirely a surprise, but I could not stop the total funk it sent me into that night.

Sitting through the meeting did not turn around my emotional downward spiral. All the way home, I tried to figure out why I had eaten so much the past week that I gained nearly two and a half pounds. My sister and parents had visited about a week for Easter. Did I just fall back into old, bad habits around them? Did I treat the holiday and visit as an excuse to eat more than I should and a break from my healthy eating lifestyle? I know my portion control was not as good as it could be, and I definitely ate a decent amount of "treat" foods several days in a row. Heck, one day I had the Baskin-Robbins equivalent of a Dairy Queen Heath Bar Blizzard for lunch. That was really going to help me lose weight.

My original plan for the week had been to not keep a food diary on Easter Sunday but to do so all the other days. Ha! I stopped writing down what I was eating the second my parents and sister arrived and did not restart until they left. I was not on my best "healthy writer" behavior.

I asked even tougher questions. Was I stressed out by sharing my one-bedroom apartment with 3 other adults for 6 days and that made me do some stress eating? Was the visit making me feel emotions I was unwilling to face? I know that unacknowledged emotions can make me overeat to try to avoid them. I also know people joke about how they revert back to old roles when they visit their family, and I do sometimes feel like I'm a different person around my parents and sister than I am in other environments. Did I not like the role I played in my family at times? Was I upset by other family dynamics?

Honestly, all of the above questions were possible, and I never really could come up with a definitive answer as to why I overate during their visit. I tried to throw off my gloom enough to enjoy the last night with my parents in town, but I was back in funk mode when I went to bed. Now, I could add feeling bad about not being in the best mood that night. It got to the point that my bad feelings from one area - the weight gain - seemed to bleed into other areas of my life until I was not happy about anything.

Luckily, Wednesday was such a busy day at work I could not waste time nurturing a funk about gaining weight. I made it a priority to go to a Zumba class that night, and it was the best hour of my day. I danced my bad mood away. I also realized that I had not tried to comfort or soothe my funk away with emotional eating and was very proud of that. In previous Weight Watchers attempts, a 2.4 pound gain would have sent me straight to a restaurant to get a burger, fries and soda or some other equally beloved but unhealthy meal and to start thinking about how impossible it was for me to lose weight. Why should I even bother? Soon, I could talk myself into quitting, but that old, bad road to self-sabotage has been pretty much destroyed by the power of promising myself I'd give it my all for a year to lose weight no matter what.

When I returned home from another Zumba class Thursday night, I started to wonder why I could still get so upset when I gain weight. I know better. (Yes, I have been accused of thinking too much several times, and I think analysis paralysis is a brilliant description of a state I know well.) In fact if I eliminated the weigh-in results, I could construct a triumphant narrative of the past week. My original intention for my April 12 blog post was to talk a bit about another bonus of spring - the change over of fall/winter clothes to spring/summer clothes and how that can be another wonderful way to show how much smaller you are getting.

We've had stretches of warm to very warm weather in the DC area in the past month, so I'd already started the clothing changeover. I had a lot of gaps in my wardrobe as most of the new clothes I bought last summer were too big and given away. My sister had informed me in late February when she had to make an unscheduled, last-minute business trip to DC that I had no cute tops. We were going through my clothes trying to find something she could wear to a business appointment the next day. She had not had the time to go back to her apartment to get some clean clothes before she had to hop on the train for DC. I'm finally reaching the size that I can lend her some of my clothes to wear, and that's another tangible sign of progress.

When my sister and I hit the outlet mall the Saturday before Easter, she reminded me I needed cute tops, and I knew I had other clothing items I needed to look for. I spent a couple of hours at the Ann Taylor outlet (yes, I realize I'm almost obsessed with all things Ann Taylor and can even explain why) and was absolutely thrilled to fit into a bunch of very cute medium or size 10 tops, jackets, pants, skirts and dresses. I even got into a couple of size 8 a-line skirts. This was more, very tangible proof that I'm continuing to get smaller, and I happily walked out of that store with several bags. I pretty much have a kick-butt spring/summer wardrobe now.

So, I had a lot of reasons to feel good about myself at Weight Watchers Tuesday night. I always dress up for the meeting, so I know I look good (even if I gain weight), and last week was no exception. I was wearing a wonderful Ann Taylor wrap-around dress that had been too small when I ordered it online last summer but fits beautifully now and a pair of sexy, hot, blue sandals. (I chose "sexy" and "hot" on purpose as those are two words people have started to use in reference to me to my surprise.) I'd gotten several compliments at work that day, and I was feeling darn good about myself until I read in my book how much I had gained. My group leader who had weighed me in had (wisely) not told me exactly how big of a gain it was. I shouldn't have looked to see how much it was until later that week when I was back practicing my healthy eating and exercise habits and more removed from the moment. But, I looked, I knew I had gained 2.4 pounds, and I wallowed.

Now, I have gained 24 times at my 61 Weight Watchers weigh ins since the beginning of 2009. My worst gain on this journey was 3.4 pounds on August 20, 2009, (business trip) followed by a gain of 3.2 pounds on Oct. 15, 2009, (also known as the night all hope was lost) after a visit to my parents. Five times my gain was in the two pound range (2 - 2.6). On six separate occasions, I gained for two weeks in a row. Gaining weight is no stranger to me on my journey to become and stay a healthy writer, and I've worked hard to learn how to take these temporary set backs in stride.

I know that these gains are eventually followed by losses if I just keep at it. The Aug. 20th gain was followed by weekly losses of 1.6, 1.4, 1.4 and 4.6. My Oct. 15th gain of 3.2 pounds was wiped out by a 3.2 pound loss on Oct. 21. I remember staring at the Weight Watchers receptionist as she gushed over the loss and I said that's exactly what I gained last week. The slate was wiped clean, and all that drama and emotional turmoil I went through on the 15th was a tempest in a teapot. It was a waste of energy.

The most important thing is that I've not allowed any of these gains to convince me to quit. Yes, some of them have been very tough to take emotionally (and hormones may have played a role in that at least twice), but I have tried to be patient and persevere. No matter what, I will keep working at it and not give up. I have lost more than 30 pounds that way and know that if I continue to do that, I will eventually reach a healthy weight and stay there.

How do you handle it when you gain weight? Do you have any advice for me for my next (inevitable) weight gain? How do you keep going? What's the secret to being patient and persevering?

Continue Reading...

Spring Is Here!

Spring is here! It's a time of renewal, rebirth, and even redemption. It's a great time to determine where you are on your journey to become a healthy writer and decide if you are happy with your progress. Are you doing your best? Can you do more? Do you want to increase your efforts?

I do want to step it up. I have lost a little more than 7 pounds since the beginning of 2010. I'm happy to see a loss and can feel a difference for it, but I don't think I've been doing my best this winter. I know I've been struggling a little with backsliding the past couple of months, and I really don't think I've done enough in the area of exercise.

I've only averaged two trips to the gym per week over the winter months. Now, this is something. I also walk about 30 - 40 minutes a day for my commute, but my winter weekly gym attendance is nothing compared to what I was doing in the summer and fall when I averaged 4-5 visits to the gym a week.

I felt better when I worked out that often. I also find that one of the many benefits of exercise is that it makes the food stuff, making healthy eating choices in terms of what I eat and how much I eat, a lot easier. I'm not sure why that is, but there is a clear connection. When I'm working out a lot, I am doing better in almost all areas of my life.

I also think part of my journey to becoming a healthy writer is learning to love my body and appreciate what it can do. Exercise helps a lot with that. One of the slogans everywhere at my gym is Know Your Own Strength. When I attended the body pump weight lifting class 2-3 times a week, I was learning how to love how strong I could get and what I could do physically. It felt so empowering. Furthermore, nothing made me smaller as quickly as strength training.

Yes, some of this need to learn to love my body is typical female hangups with body image. Another part of it comes from the fact that since my sister had a stroke at the age of 5, she has had physical disabilities. I spent a good part of my life feeling guilty for being able bodied, so learning to love what my body can do has been a very hard lesson that is still in progress.

In many ways, I've missed working out hard at least 4-5 times a week, and I hope to get back into that pattern this spring. It's something I've started working towards already. Daylight Savings Time has really helped. It's so much easier for me to go to the gym when it's still light out, and there are fewer clothes I have to put on to go outside.

This spring fever need to increase your exercise is also influencing my Weight Watchers buddies. Several have signed up for running races. A bunch of them were talking about it after a meeting a couple of weeks ago, and they inspired me to finally purchase some kick butt sports bras. This has been on my list of things to do for awhile. I am well-endowed in the chest area and hover in the D to DD range. I need a super supportive athletic bra. I've asked around for recommendations, and several friends mentioned the bar system that the Title IX Web site has for rating sports bras - the more bars the better the support. Given how expensive these super duper sports bras can run, I wanted to try some on first.

Walking home from the metro one day, I passed a lululemon athletic store. I went in to see what they could do for me, and I walked out with 8 killer sports bras. I can vouch that the ta ta tamer (someone has a sense of humor as that is the real name) is amazing. There's almost no movement at all. It's actually made a difference in my workouts. I no longer hold myself back on certain moves in my classes that previously had been very uncomfortable due to the size of my chest. These bras will also make it easier for me to contemplate the idea of adding running to my exercise repertoire. I plan to go for a run with my friend Elise Hayes at the WRW retreat in a couple of weeks as a kind of experiment. It'll be interesting to see how it goes.

I have done my best to set myself up for a successful spring in terms of exercising more. I went to the gym 3 times this past week, and I'll get back to that 4-5 times a week range soon.

Does the arrival of spring make you evaluate your current efforts to become a healthy writer? Are you doing your best? Can you do more? Do you want to increase your efforts?

Continue Reading...

Reward Yourself!

About a year ago, I finally passed the ten-pound loss mark. It was an exciting milestone. Yes, it took me nearly 3 months to lose those 10 pounds, but it was the fastest 10 pounds I'd ever lost, and I know I can be a slow loser. I’ve even accepted that I can’t or won’t lose weight fast. In 2009, I was prepared to give it my all for a whole year to lose weight and accept whatever results came my way. I didn’t let how long it took me to lose those 10 pounds ruin my feelings of happiness at the accomplishment.

I wanted to acknowledge the achievement, celebrate the accomplishment and reward myself. In the past, I’d often used food as a reward. Going out for a nice dinner with friends did not feel like an appropriate way to celebrate losing weight. I also knew I needed to change some of the habits that had helped me gain and maintain my obese status. I needed to come up with another way besides food to reward myself.

I decided to go buy some new make-up. A year ago, I’d almost run out of it. I had a little bit of powder, a brown eyeliner, very old mascara and a couple of lipsticks left. In 2008 and perhaps even 2007, I’d really stopped caring so much about my appearance, and replacing make-up was not a priority. I’d stopped wearing it to work. In fact, it was getting so bad that I wasn’t bothering to put my contacts in half the time I went to my office. Given the fact that I always feel much, much less attractive or even worth acknowledging when I wear my glasses, I was really wallowing in some bad vibes about myself. I’d given up on my appearance in ways that were not healthy or any good for my self-confidence level.

Going to the mall to replace all my old make-up was a great way to celebrate this new effort in caring for myself. As I’ve continued to lose weight, I’ve started to pay more attention to my appearance. This has helped increase my self-confidence, and I’ve kept it from crossing the line into an unhealthy or harsh and judgmental obsession with how I look. Around the 15-pound loss mark, I started to shop for new clothes as a reward.

Over the long haul, I’ve found passing a 5-pound milestone (20, 25, 30 pounds down) or a 10-pound milestone such as getting into the 180s from the 190s was enough of a reward on its own. I then started to reserve the rewards for when I was feeling fat or discouraged about my journey to becoming a healthy writer. I’ve been known to go straight from a Weight Watchers meeting where I found out I had a gained a little to an Ann Taylor Loft to buy a new pair of pants that would not have fit a month prior.

Even just trying new clothes on at my favorite stores and getting into a smaller size could be a reward or a way to encourage myself. I don’t have to buy the clothes to get the thrill. Sometimes when I’m down about my last weigh in or feeling discouraged, I’ll walk over to Ann Taylor at lunch and try on some outfits that catch my eye. Yes, sometimes I buy them, but I often don’t, especially if it’s not a good price. I just admire myself in smaller clothes in the mirror and acknowledge all that I’ve accomplished and what I will continue to accomplish if I keep going.

I’ll also do this at home. I’ll go to my closet and pull out a favorite piece of new clothing or an outfit I’m still working on getting into. I’ll put it on and acknowledge how good it looks on or how much closer I am getting to it fitting. I’ll also hold it up and force myself to acknowledge how small the clothing looks and that I now can fit into it; therefore, I’m small.

It also helps to look at clothing in sizes that used to fit but are now too big. It is thrilling to put on a 12 or 14 that is very roomy. I've given away most of my too big clothing, so I have to go to the stores to find 16s or plus-sized clothing. Saturday I walked into a Lane Bryant, formerly one of my favorite stores, and hunted down a pair of size 20 plus cropped pants. I held it up to myself, and I was about half that size. I could wrap it around my body, and I do think I might have been able to step my entire body into one leg. I wore a pair of size 20 shorts for many years. It was kind of amazing stuff to think about as I looked at those now way too large pants.

These kinds of rewards really help me feel good about myself and keep moving forward.

Do you use rewards to keep you going on your journey to becoming a healthy writer?

Continue Reading...

So Many Victories Along the Way!

My own post yesterday inspired me to go to the local Ann Taylor at lunch today and try on 6 pairs of pants in size 10. To my shock and glee, 4 of the 6 fit (though they were on the tight side), and I could get the two pairs of jeans on and might have been able to fasten them if I did something crazy like lie down before I tried to zip them. Oh, happy day! This was not the case just 2-3 weeks ago!! I need to pull out more of the 10s I got at the clothes swap Saturday to see if any of them fit. The one Armani pair I tried did not, and I just assumed the others would not either. Maybe the Banana Republic 10s will now.

People, do you know how small a pair of size 10 pants look when you hold them up? I can not believe I can fit into something so darn small. I'm hoping to get below 180 tonight at my Weight Watchers weigh in tonight (not sure where all the weight is given I now wear a 12/10 - can't all be in my chest, stomach, butt and thighs, can it?), but it does not matter that much. I can just tell myself I now wear a 10 as I get off that scale tonight. Yes, I really am going to stick to my goal of getting into the Weight Watchers healthy weight range of 124 to 155 for a person who is 5' 6", but there are so many victories along the way to acknowledge and celebrate. What joy!

What victories have you celebrated along your way to becoming a Healthy Writer?

Michelle Butler has made becoming a healthy writer a priority. She lives, works and writes in the Washington, DC, area. You can follow her on twitter at http://twitter.com/healthywrtr

Continue Reading...

A Third Vote of Confidence in Myself

For the third time in my life, I have done a full sweep of my wardrobe and pulled out all the clothes that are now too big. I seem to have a strong pattern to this process. Like the first and second times I did this, it starts in a frenzy of joy and celebration. It is so much fun to pull out all the clothes in a particular size, try them on, and discover that they are all to big. For more than ten years, I was much more used to trying on all the clothes in a particular size and "discovering" that they were all too small. The opposite is so much more fun.

When I go through my wardrobe to weed out what no longer fits, I pile all the too big clothing on my love seat or couch and glory in that sight for a day or two. Then, the freak out starts. Who am I kidding? Look at all that nice clothing that I'm just going to give away. How much money does that pile represent? Can I really keep off this weight or continue to lose? Odds are against me. Do I want to spend the money to repurchase this wardrobe if/when I ever get back to this size?

The freak out wasn't as strong this time though. I have two other examples to reflect on how this process really works for me. A Weight Watchers buddy said it was like Hernan Cortez burning his ships when he and his crew of Spaniards landed on Mexico. There is no going back. You have to keep moving forward and succeeding at this journey. I do know that getting rid of my bigger clothes the previous two times helped me keep from regaining the weight and getting back into those larger sizes.

I am a very solid size 12 now. In fact, I'm just starting to fit into the smaller side of the size 12 range (e.g. Tahari suits) and even into a-line size 10 skirts and dresses. Soon, I'll fit into curvy 10s (e.g. Ann Taylor Loft Julie pants). Give it a few more months, and I'll be wearing the smaller 10s (e.g. Ann Taylor Loft Marissa pants). By mid-summer, I may be able to contemplate wearing a-line 8s as the curvy 10s become too big. There is a very strong pattern to getting into smaller size clothing that I have now experienced many times through 20-plus (one pair of very hated shorts), several 18-plus, lots and lots of 16-plus, some 14-plus, regular 16, regular 14, regular 12 and just the barest glimmers of regular 10. I recognize, celebrate and love all the signs of progress.


L: May 2005 in Hydra, Greece. I'm pretty sure I'm wearing size 18-plus cropped pants from Dress Barn Woman.

R: March 13, 2010 - I'm wearing regular size 12 from Ann Taylor Loft. This was the first time I'd fit into the brown, size 12, Marissa pants pictured.


The current pile of clothing on my love seat contains mostly size regular 14 clothing and several of my favorite, "smaller" size 16 pieces. For more than a decade, losing 20 pounds and getting into a regular size 14 was an impossible goal. I walked into Weight Watchers in January 2009 half ready to prove that it was impossible and with tentative plans to join the fat is beautiful movement in 2010. Instead, I'm getting rid of those 14s and contemplating getting into a size 10 or 8. That is amazing.

Yesterday, I took the very best of my size 16 and size 14 clothing, most of which had only been worn half a season, to a clothes swap party that I've been fortunate enough to go to 3 times before. A successful member of my local RWA chapters hosts it every year. I was able to see many of my long-time friends take my size 14 and 16 clothing home as additions to their wardrobe or as aspirational pieces. I think that's so wonderful.

I went home with my own huge pile of aspirational pieces, costume jewelry and a nice pair of shoes. (By the way, my shoe size has gotten smaller with my now nearly 35 pound weight loss since January 09 and nearly 45 from my highest weight. I used to be a 8 - 8 1/2 and I'm now more of an 8 - 7 1/2 size shoe wearer.) The hostess of the party had lost 20-30 pounds herself this past year and had contributed many size 8s and 10s to the pile of clothes to be swapped. I seemed the most interested in them (or perhaps the most aggressive person to go after them), and I now have many amazing pieces I can add to those 3 size 10 clothes I bought last winter to use as something to work towards in the next 6 months to a year. In fact, one or two of the pieces from yesterday's clothes swap already fit well enough to be worn in public. I'm filled with confidence that the rest of it will eventually fit. No, this journey is not fast, but I do know that my patience and persistence will be rewarded.

What things do you do as a vote of confidence in yourself? As you get smaller, do you get rid of your bigger clothes?

Michelle Butler has made becoming a healthy writer a priority. She lives, works and writes in the Washington, DC, area. You can follow her on twitter at http://twitter.com/healthywrtr

Continue Reading...

What Are You Working Towards?

Even though I now have lost 30 or so pounds, I still hate the scale. The number it shows almost always disappoints me, and it’s not enough of a reward to keep going. I’ve worked on finding other ways to measure my progress and establish short-term goals to work towards. One of my favorites is clothing.

The outfit you see to the left is one that I worked towards fitting into the past 11 months. I got the size 12, Ann Taylor, A-line skirt in New York City during a visit to my sister a couple years ago, and I always thought it would look very sharp paired with a red shirt. It was one of my fantasy outfits I dreamed of wearing when I finally got thin.

When I first tried on this skirt, I was able to fasten only the top button if I sucked it in, and the gapping sides formed a large triangle. Whenever I reached a particular milestone in my journey to becoming a healthy writer this year, I’d try on this skirt and watch that triangle get smaller and smaller until I was finally able to close all the buttons. Once there were no gaps between the buttons and the skirt was no longer too tight to wear in public, I proudly and very happily donned this outfit and wore it to work Wednesday, Nov. 18, 2009. I even was able to top the outfit with a very stylish, size 12, Ann Taylor Loft, short, winter coat. I made a colleague take my picture so I could document this accomplishment.

I’ve used other pieces of clothing, such as the outfit pictured to the right, as ways to measure my progress this year as well. I discovered that once I started to fit into more and more pieces in a particular size, I needed to start using a size smaller pair of pants, skirt, dress or top to measure my overall progress. I still have plenty of size 12s that I don’t fit into: a lovely Ann Taylor pencil skirt suit, 3 Tahari pants suits, and several other pants, but now that I can wear several size 12 outfits, I need to have some size 10s to work towards.

I did not own any size 10 clothing until mid-October. It’s been a very long time since I could fit into any, and I did not keep my thin college clothes. I did have some clothing I’d bought massively on sale through the years to thin into, but I never dared to dream I’d get back into a 10. Contrary to the fact that I am admitting to how many pieces of clothing I’ve bought when they were still too small to wear, I really do have a frugal streak. I only ever bought clothes one or two sizes smaller than I currently was and only when it was really, really on sale. (Yes, the frugal Yankee in me does feel a little guilty about this.)

In the past month, I have bought three size 10 pieces of clothing: a size 10 Evan-Picone purple dress (very Michelle Obama), a medium (sizes 8/10) Ann Taylor green silk shirt dress, and a size ten Ann Taylor Loft pair of corduroys. All three pieces were bought massively on sale. The two dresses were in the 30s and the pants were $22.04. I even tried the clothing in a size that currently fit to make sure they would be flattering when I reached a size 10. For less than $90, I have great encouragement to keep going and something to measure my progress against. I think it’s worth it.

What are you working towards? Have you found ways to measure your progress other than the scale? What helps you succeed on your journey to becoming a healthy writer?

Continue Reading...

Guest Annie Solomon talks body shape

I'm happy to officially kick off our Guest Blogger Fridays with a long-time friend and fellow writer Annie Solomon. Annie took time away from penning award-winning, fantastic romantic suspense novels to share her love of a site I'm eager to explore myself. Here's Annie...

We all know that diet and exercise play a key role in health—whether or not you’re a writer. But there’s another aspect to health that is often overlooked: a healthy attitude. But when it comes to our bodies, most of us are so critical it’s hard to get to that zen outlook. I’m here to give you a tip on how the reach that seemingly Sisyphean goal.

It’s not a mantra or a potion or a pill. It’s a Web site: myShape.com.

MyShape helps you find clothes that fit and flatter your body. That’s the key to making you look great—no matter what shape your body is in. And we all know that looking great can make you feel great.

But before you can dress your body, you have to know it.

Are you an apple? A pear? A cello? A stick? It’s not always easy to figure out your shape.
MyShape does it for you. Like many things, there’s a certain amount of drudgery involved in the beginning: you have to measure yourself from head to toe. But once you’ve filled in all the requested measurements, the site will pick out clothes that suit your shape, and determine the correct size. You can narrow the focus by style (modern classic, artistic trendy, glamour, etc.) or lifestyle (casual, work, dressy, etc.). You can peruse outfits the site puts together, or create your own. The clothes are fashionable and interesting, and, once you’ve set up your Personal Shop, all shipping is free (oh—and 15% off your first order!)

Warning: this is not a discount site. But there’s a wide range of designers--from the moderate Rafaella to the pricey Nannette Lepore—and there are loads of sales throughout the year.
I bought the dress for my daughter’s wedding (at right) at myShape. I’ve also bought jeans and tops and a fun summer dress. I love everything and it’s all flattering.

Finding clothes that fit your body can not only make you look great, they can make you look thinner and younger—without losing a pound or forgetting a birthday. There’s nothing like looking great to give you confidence and motivation—for making it to the gym or finishing that last chapter. And that’s an attitude that can boost anyone’s health.

Tips and stuff for my shape, ‘M’: http://www.myshape.com/shop/shape-anatomy

What to wear by shape: http://www.myshape.com/shop/what-to-wear

~~~

Wednesday progress:

Calorie intake: 1,200
Exercise: 20 minutes walking, 45 minutes house cleaning
Steps: 10,111

Thursday progress:

Calorie intake: 1,360
Exercise: None other than running lots of errands and my steps
Steps: 10,135

Continue Reading...

A Vote of Confidence in Myself

I’ve struggled with my weight since elementary school, and it became a much bigger issue in college – pun intended. I first joined Weight Watchers (WW) in 1995 and have made many attempts since then to get back to a healthy weight range. My current effort is the most successful ever. Part of that accomplishment is due to the fact that I took the time to figure out what lessons I could learn from my past failures and semi-successes.

In 2004 or 2003, a colleague organized a Weight Watchers at work program that started the week before Thanksgiving and ran through mid-Winter. I participated and lost around 15 or so pounds. For the first time in my life, I did not regain all of the weight I had lost during one of my WW attempts. Furthermore, I hadn’t even started at my highest weight ever. After I moved from Texas to DC, I lost about 10 - 15 pounds because I drive less and walk more here in my day-to-day life.

How was I able to maintain this loss of 10 – 15 pounds? Part of it was the increased activity from living in a walking-friendly environment, but there is one other tactic I took that I highly recommend. At the end of the Weight Watchers at work program, I went through my closets and drawers and removed all the clothing that was a size or two too big at that point and gave it to Goodwill. Most of my size 16 plus clothing, all of the 18 plus and the most-hated, it-was-so-hot-in-Texas, and I-had-no-shorts-that-fit-and-I-was-desperate, size 20 plus shorts were gone, and I vowed never to buy clothes in those sizes again. Whenever the remaining clothes got tight enough that I started to long for some of the very nice clothing I had given to Goodwill, I got motivated enough to do something and lose 5-10 pounds. Part of this motivation came from my frugality, but some of it came from stubbornness.

The value of drawing this clear line in the sand was a very useful lesson, and I’m turning to it again. Yesterday and earlier this summer, I went through my closets and drawers and pulled out all of my clothing that was too big. I have a mountain of clothes on my loveseat that includes the following sizes: 16 plus (not a lot – most of it went the last time I did this), 14 plus, X and even some 1X, 16 regular (including several fabulous Jones New York suits), a few 14 regular, extra large, very few larges and a few men’s sizes and other stuff so random I almost don’t know how I accumulated it. Looking at that pile makes me very happy, but it is tinged with a little fear.

Even though this has worked in the past, it’s still scary. I’m giving away a lot of very nice clothing – stuff that would be very expensive to replace – and it’s been so long, more than ten years, since I’ve been in my size range – a pretty solid 14 with some “small” size 16 stuff and “big” size 12 stuff. I’m also more of a large or a rare medium on top instead of an extra large. Is this just a temporary fluke? Can I stay here or even get smaller? I’ve been fat most of my adult life, and for years, I accepted that as what I was meant to be.

Some of you may notice that I said I cleaned my closets earlier this summer. That too-big summer clothing has been sitting on my loveseat for more than a month because I couldn’t find the courage to bring it to Goodwill. It was good stuff, and I couldn’t completely convince myself that I wouldn’t need it again. The pile has now doubled. I need to believe in myself and that my journey to becoming and staying a healthy writer will be a success. I need to acknowledge the fear holding me back, confront it, and get over it.

This morning, I sent an email to my local writer’s group offering this clothing to anyone interested (some of it really is very nice) and gave myself a deadline of next Sunday to get the remaining clothes to Goodwill. This is my vote of confidence in myself for the next four months – and beyond.

What kind of “vote of confidence in yourself” can you make for the next four months that will help you along your journey to becoming and staying a healthy writer?

Continue Reading...

Little Tweaks

I'm going crazy as my deadline approaches (book due Monday), so it's a quickie post tonight, but it's a link to an article I saw yesterday about some little tweaks that yield very nice results. I'm living proof that the food diary thing works. Check out the article by Lucy Danziger, editor-in-chief of SELF magazine, here.

Two other tidbits from yesterday:

1. I had to go do a bit of shopping at several stores, and let's just say all those mall walkers are smart. Shopping really increases my step total, as you likely noticed with my high step count yesterday.

2. I got into a pair of jeans that was a size smaller. Granted, they are still snug, but I bought them anyway, curious to see how the fit changes over the weeks ahead.
~~~

Today's progress:

Calorie intake: 1,332 (largely because I had a higher calorie breakfast than normal)

Exercise: None

Steps: 3,780 (If only keystrokes on a computer keyboard counted.)

Continue Reading...

Clothes Make the Diet

By Tawny Weber

I’m always all about “once I lose this weight, I’ll dress like ‘this’ and wear ‘that’.” I’m also super stubborn, so I refuse to buy new clothes in a bigger size, so when I gained weight, my wardrobe possibilities went from walk-in closet range to these-three-outfits-fit range. And since I work from home, and writer-dress seems to lend itself to baggy sweats and big tee-shirts anyway, I found that along with the weight gain I’ve become a hermity ragmuffin, more often than not.

What did this do for my inspiration to lose weight? Well I still had the whole plan to wear cute clothes to go with my growing collection of gorgeous shoes as soon as I lose weight. But that plan wasn’t doing much to motivate me. I’ve tried Michelle’s suggestion of hanging a perfect outfit on the door as inspiration, but after a couple weeks, the outfit always seems to blend with the wall and I stop seeing it (maybe I should set my shoes out instead... that’d keep my focus!!)

But last month, after we moved into our new house and I’d spent a few solid weeks in sloppy packing/cleaning/moving clothes, I had the urge to dress nice. You know, without the elastic waistband nice. Talk about inspiration!!!

After a couple days, I realized I was more focused on exercise and healthy eating because I was dressing nicer. Yes, I still had sweatpants days –plenty of them. But a couple days a week became ‘nice’ days. Makeup and hair days. Dress like an author instead of a writer days (in my little world, authors dress for book signings, writers dress for hours of slouching over the keyboard). It's made SUCH a difference for me. I feel better. I’m more motivated and as I search through my closet for more cute things that fit, everything I have to pass over encourages me to be able to wear IT soon.

It’s really helping.

How about you? Do you dress for comfort, or dress to feel great in your clothes? Do you find your weight affects your dressing choices?
~~~

Today's progress:

Calorie intake: 1,196.5

Exercise: Lots of walking while shopping, though I didn't time it.

Steps: 18,311 (Holy mall walking, Batman!)

Continue Reading...

Using Clothing as Inspiration

One of the tips I've seen offered for keeping true to weight loss goals (especially for women) is to focus on a specific outfit you want to wear. This can be something you already have that you can no longer wear (lots of conference suits for me) or something that you don't own yet but promise yourself you'll buy when you hit a certain size. I've already told myself that I'm not buying any more new clothes until I drop a size or two. My dream is to drop three sizes, but I think I might be satisfied with two if I've hit my goal weight by then. I think I was in my first year of college the last time I could fit into a pair of jeans that were three sizes smaller than what I wear now.

Speaking of jeans -- they can serve as a motivator and way to visually gauge weight loss. Find a pair of jeans you have that fit snugly, perhaps are even a little uncomfortable. Try them on every so often and see if they're getting looser. And remember, sometimes you might be losing inches when the scales aren't moving.

Today's reading -- I read a few quick success stories by women who'd lost weight in Fitness magazine. One of them suggested the tip for using an outfit to track your progress instead of a scale.

Today's progress:

Same weight. I think I'll go to weighing only every 2-3 days.

Calorie intake: 1,403.32

Exercise: 45 minutes walking & 10 sit-ups

Steps: 10,244

Continue Reading...