Thursday, June 17, 2010

Oh, Really?

I read an article the other day in which a doctor stated that during menopause, women would (not might, not could - WOULD) gain 10-20 lbs.

Like it was some kind of guarantee.

It blew my mind. Not only because that kind of absolute statement seems incorrect, but because it's both emotionally dispiriting and physically discouraging. And, of course, it's not true. At least, not that I've seen since both my grandmother, my mother and my stepmother have all gone through menopause without gaining weight. Since all three are from different gene pools (my grandmother is my father's mom), I have to say it's pretty solid proof that the weight gain isn't a given.

Call me Pollyanna (okay, don't) but I've always believed that as long as you put your mind to something and worked hard, you'd see results (perhaps not the exact results you were aiming for, but still...) Its so negative to read or hear something like this. To me, its tantamount to saying "you have no choice, go ahead and give up".

Its along the same lines as someone stating that you're eating for two now, and you'll gain 50-60 lbs when you're pregnant. Yes, you'll gain weight. Yes, you need to eat to nourish the baby. But an absolute 'you'll gain this much weight no matter what', again, makes me feel defeated before I even get a fork in my hand.

Now, all that whining aside, I'm not trying to say that I don't believe that hormonal changes bring major body challenges. I totally do believe the studies that show that a percentage of women will have weight challenges during menopause (and during pregnancy). But I also see that as a warning, like bone density, that we need to prepare ourselves for the challenges ahead.

So I guess the bottom line of my blog today is that this article really irritated me (can you tell? I know, I'm usually so subtle).

So here's my question for the day - have you ever heard an 'absolute' and refused to believe or live it? Have you ever heard one and gave in to it?

Tawny Weber writes hot, spicy stories for Harlequin Blaze. In January 2010, her novella, YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, was out in the Blazing Bedtime Story anthology and her next full length Blaze,, RIDING THE WAVES, will be out in September 2010. Come by and visit her on the web at


Michelle Butler on June 17, 2010 at 10:07 AM said...

Great way to refuse to believe that negative thinking. I know a generation or two ago, pregnant women gained much less weight - as they were told to do so. At least, that's what I've heard from my mom and her friends.

Sometimes, when I'm told X will happen or you can't do Y, it triggers a powerful response in me of: I'll show you! It can be helpful. :)

Tawny on June 17, 2010 at 11:12 AM said...

Michelle, I'm a fan of "I'll show you" thinking :-)

Sally Kilpatrick on June 17, 2010 at 11:28 AM said...

I'm with you, Tawny. That sort of article inspires me to prove someone wrong. I can't think of any specific examples at the moment, but your post is really interesting because I just got my copy of Jillian Michael's Mastering your Metabolism from the library. I can't wait to see how she thinks hormones play into all of this because I KNOW mine are messed up. Nothing like having a couple of babies to get you all out of whack.

I say, get out there and prove that doctor wrong!

MaryC on June 17, 2010 at 3:01 PM said...

Hey Tawny,

Here's some more proof. I'm going through menopause now. I just came back from a trip to the doctor and his scale showed that I lost 11 pounds since I was there last July.

Michelle Butler on June 17, 2010 at 3:17 PM said...

Congrats, MaryC!!

Keri Mikulski on June 17, 2010 at 4:44 PM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keri Mikulski on June 17, 2010 at 4:45 PM said...

Yay, Mary!

I think authors are pros at 'I'll show you' thinking.. :)

Tawny on June 17, 2010 at 5:59 PM said...

Sally, I totally agree- hormones have a huge impact on us in every way. So I wouldn't discount that a weight gain is quite possible. But its those absolutes that just make me grit my teeth and like you said, get determined to prove something. Although I can't prove anything until I get to menopause *g* but I did take it as a solid kick in the tush to get working harder so I'm not trying to lose and to keep weight off when I get there LOL.

I would love to hear what you think of the book - I've seen it around and been intrigued, but I think (could be mistaking it for another book, though) it has an eating program included. If so, thats why I've steered away, give that rarely do any of the programs fit my vegetarian lifestyle.

Tawny on June 17, 2010 at 5:59 PM said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!! MaryC - you are my hero!!!!

YES :-D Congratulations!!!!

Tawny on June 17, 2010 at 5:59 PM said...

Keri, I think you're right *g*

Trish Milburn (Tricia Mills) on June 18, 2010 at 11:37 AM said...

I'm not a fan of absolutist language, whether it's regarding weight, writing (you know, the ones who say you have to do X or Y or you're not writing correctly -- grrr), or even the hot-button topics of politics and religion. I won't go into those last two, but when people talk in absolutes, it burns me up. I'm like you all, it makes me want to prove them wrong.

MaryC, congrats on your weight loss!

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